What if 2012 is Amazing?

I haven't had an amazing year since 2006. I don't know, I'm just judging by my facebook timeline. Ever since I was little, I'd get depressed at this time of year. I was sad the holidays were over and I didn't know when I'd see my extended family again. I've just never been the type to say 'this year will be different' and decide to make a bunch of changes along with the rest of the world. So I'm def not saying I think 2012 will be different, but what if it is?

New Year's Eve was definitely amazing! Spongebob and I went to my friend's potluck and then to a party. We drank Veuve Clicqot and shotgunned weed. My friend asked us if we would kiss at midnight and I said, "Well I guess we'll have to," which was sufficiently awkward, but took away all awkwardness at kissing time...until she sprayed silly string on us mid-kiss. We stumbled home at about 5AM and had some more fun ;) He asked for head but I reminded him of my no casual sex rule. We spent the next day recovering together.

Today he was laid off :( He doesn't know this, but I cried for him. I forgot what it's like to care...to not be obsessed and anxious and preoccupied with what my next move will be...but just to have my heart feel for another person. It's totally different than empathy during therapy. I said I'd be there for him, and he offered to take me to dinner. I think he's being a little too positive at a time like this, and were he a client I would pry a little. Then again, he's never really had to worry about money, so maybe he means it when he calls this an opportunity.

I've been so caught up in finding a boyfriend that I just realized I don't really know how to be a girlfriend! So here's to being a girlfriend in 2012 :)

Bisou Bisou

Of course he called me! And of course we went on a date and he kissed me at the end! Because I'm awesome, and why wouldn't he? :P We've been chatting/texting and he canceled his plans with his brother to have sushi with me. I was suuuuper nervous because this was sort of a make or break date since he hadn't put ANY moves on me. So I didn't have an appetite and looked like a loser girl who doesn't eat on dates. W/e he's seen me stuff my face the past two so he knows what's up. After dinner, we stood in the parking lot talking for about two hours. I acted all cold so he would put his arm around me but NOTHING. Then finally when we hugged goodbye he went for it. Jeezus kid! Sooo he seems like not a jerk so I believe him when he says he'll call me after his trip. I really like this thing because I'm not going crazy--I know I like him but I still want to find out more. It's slow and it's fun and hopefully I get to enjoy it for awhile. His birthday is coming up, though, and I HATE when you first meet a guy and his birthday or Christmas comes. I'm thinking I'll just text him. I made Ladder 1 cupcakes for his bday (I took them to his super bowl party so it wasn't a huge deal) and he ended up thinking I was moving too fast. That probably had more to do with me giving it up to him too soon and calling too much than the cupcakes but I'm traumatized nonetheless. I think these past traumas are helping me now, though, because I know to move slower and if a guy does end up leaving me he isn't taking my heart and secrets with him.