Sunday, July 25, 2010
Here We Go Again
Oh noes. I went on my date. And I like him. I guess that's good because it was a long date so it would have been awkward if I didn't like him. Hopefully it wasn't awkward for him the whole time :/ He said he would call me so we can go out again but that's what they all say. Anyways, when I like a guy I obsess and that makes me think of reasons he doesn't like me and that makes me depressed. So when I have no guy to worry about I'm a happy, independent female. But it looks like now I'm going back to anxious, depressed psycho. I'm scared because I was so hurt with Turkey and that was just a crush! But I recovered fine and now we're cool. Another thing is I can't seem to control is my thoughts about marriage!!! I want to just hang out with this guy and not worry about if I'm going to marry him, but then if the guy is potentially great enough to marry how could I not think about that?? Bleh.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Just an Update
I've been MIA on here because nothing has really been going on in my dating life. I put on my match profile that I don't have a subscription so some guys would just find me on facebook. Only one guy really ended up following through to the point of asking me out. So that's coming up next week. He seems dorky enough for me but my hopes def aren't up, and that's a GOOD thing because I go from being a stable, intelligent female to a psycho chick when I get all gaga over a guy. I want to slowly fall in love and I know that's how it should be, but it's hard to actually control it. I'll def update on how the date goes.
As for other news, I've been working as a drug counselor but the pay was shit so I found a new job. Right when I accepted that job, a place that had previously turned me down said a position opened up and gave me an offer. I decided to stick with the one I accepted and I start as a therapist in August!
My friend just got married yesterday. I'm so happy for her because the situation just seems so right. With my BFF's wedding, we all knew it was headed for divorce and we hated him, so it was difficult to be happy. It was basically a drunkfest that ended in family feud that ended the reception early. With my sister's wedding, I had doubts because she was so young, plus I was oozing with jealousy because I'm the oldest. I think you can see into the marriage by how the couple acts at their wedding. I have never seen my friend so happy than when she was looking into her new husband's eyes during their first dance. I want the fancy party and all the gifts and attention, of course, but more than anything I want that moment when you're looking into each others' eyes and it's like you're the only two people on Earth. Unfortunately, I did not get to enjoy all their special moments because I had heat exhaustion. The ceremony was outdoors and it was over 100 degrees and no shade on the seats. I had already spent hours getting ready in the heat because the AC in this house SUCKS and doesn't cool the top half of the house. Plus I was on my period. So by the time the ceremony actually started, everyone was feeling pretty miserable. My mouth and lips got super dry so I drank a bottle of water. Then my heart started pounding and I was thinking WTF am I nervous about?? I also noticed I was shaking when holding the camera up. Then I started feeling woozy and couldn't even stand when the bride walked down the aisle. But I'm a baby about everything so I just thought I was being too sensitive. Till I vomited DURING THE CEREMONY. It was only a little bit and nobody really noticed and I had been waiting years to see this ceremony so I decided to stay there. I fanned myself off and tried to watch but my vision was going spotty and I couldn't keep my eyes open. The only thing worse than missing this girl's ceremony would be ruining it so I decided if I was going to die she should at least get to wait till after she walks back up the aisle to find out. So I walked out of the ceremony area behind a hedge and threw up again. A friend's mom noticed me walking away looking very pale so she came to check on me. She asked if I was ok but I couldn't talk and just tried to shake my head and get some words out. "It's hot" were some of the words and I was thinking about not being ok and needing an ambulance but I don't know what else I said, if anything. I don't even think she could understand me but she saw me flopping my hand like it was a fan so she fanned me off and got a staff member to drive me inside. They got me ice water and crackers and when the ceremony ended another friend's mom sat by me to make sure I was ok. My nurse friend was in the bridal party taking pictures so she didnt get my text asking what I should do. I felt so scared because I didn't know if this was something serious or something princess (which is usually the case with me, but I KNOW when I'm being princess). And everyone was busy with wedding stuff so they either didn't know or were too busy to care that I was sick. When they were done nurse friend took my pulse and said as long as I'm drinking fluids and out of the heat, then just pay attention to how I feel. Another friend was wasted so she shoved a gummy bear in my mouth...guess she thought I had low blood sugar?? So I ended up missing the cocktail hour because I was sitting on a couch drinking water. I had two more glasses of water and a salad before I got my energy back. It was really amazing how in such a short span of time I could go from truly thinking I might die to being ready to party. I asked a nurse and a doctor what they would tell a patient, and they both said don't drink alcohol, but to a friend they would say drink alcohol and if you start feeling bad again then stop. So I decided on vodka sodas so half of each drink would be water. The rest of the night was a blast!
When I got home today (after someone randomly gave us their hotel room, which we drunkenly thought was amazing, but when we woke up we realized we were stranded at some hotel. My dad ended up driving 30mins there and back to get us home) I looked up heat exhaustion to find out more about it. It's basically when your body can't cool itself down enough. I had all the symptoms: heavy sweating, feeling weak and/or confused, dizziness, nausea, headache, fast heartbeat. If you don't take care of yourself, then this can lead to heat stroke which is when the internal body reaches 104 degrees. By the time I realized things were going nowhere good, I had these symptoms of heat stroke: dizziness, lack of sweating, muscle weakness, nausea, vomiting, fast heartbeat, feeling confused, anxious, and disoriented. Heat stroke can lead to seizures and death because basically your body is an oven cooking up some delicious organic treats. But seriously, now knowing about how serious this thing was, I can't believe that everyone treated it so lightly. One mom thought I had been drinking and the event staff gave me a water and then went on with their business. What if I just keeled over in your beautiful country club?
I was so embarrassed that I got sick and all the old people lived through the ceremony just fine. I read that antidepressants can make you more susceptible to heat illness...and my acne med blatantly says DON'T GO IN THE SUN so maybe that's why it happened to me and no one else. Maybe no one else realizes the severity and still thinks I'm being a dainty little princess. But honestly, it made me realize how delicate I am and how delicate life is...and how much I want someone who I know without a doubt will come running if he hears I'm not ok, and then stay by my side until I am.
As for other news, I've been working as a drug counselor but the pay was shit so I found a new job. Right when I accepted that job, a place that had previously turned me down said a position opened up and gave me an offer. I decided to stick with the one I accepted and I start as a therapist in August!
My friend just got married yesterday. I'm so happy for her because the situation just seems so right. With my BFF's wedding, we all knew it was headed for divorce and we hated him, so it was difficult to be happy. It was basically a drunkfest that ended in family feud that ended the reception early. With my sister's wedding, I had doubts because she was so young, plus I was oozing with jealousy because I'm the oldest. I think you can see into the marriage by how the couple acts at their wedding. I have never seen my friend so happy than when she was looking into her new husband's eyes during their first dance. I want the fancy party and all the gifts and attention, of course, but more than anything I want that moment when you're looking into each others' eyes and it's like you're the only two people on Earth. Unfortunately, I did not get to enjoy all their special moments because I had heat exhaustion. The ceremony was outdoors and it was over 100 degrees and no shade on the seats. I had already spent hours getting ready in the heat because the AC in this house SUCKS and doesn't cool the top half of the house. Plus I was on my period. So by the time the ceremony actually started, everyone was feeling pretty miserable. My mouth and lips got super dry so I drank a bottle of water. Then my heart started pounding and I was thinking WTF am I nervous about?? I also noticed I was shaking when holding the camera up. Then I started feeling woozy and couldn't even stand when the bride walked down the aisle. But I'm a baby about everything so I just thought I was being too sensitive. Till I vomited DURING THE CEREMONY. It was only a little bit and nobody really noticed and I had been waiting years to see this ceremony so I decided to stay there. I fanned myself off and tried to watch but my vision was going spotty and I couldn't keep my eyes open. The only thing worse than missing this girl's ceremony would be ruining it so I decided if I was going to die she should at least get to wait till after she walks back up the aisle to find out. So I walked out of the ceremony area behind a hedge and threw up again. A friend's mom noticed me walking away looking very pale so she came to check on me. She asked if I was ok but I couldn't talk and just tried to shake my head and get some words out. "It's hot" were some of the words and I was thinking about not being ok and needing an ambulance but I don't know what else I said, if anything. I don't even think she could understand me but she saw me flopping my hand like it was a fan so she fanned me off and got a staff member to drive me inside. They got me ice water and crackers and when the ceremony ended another friend's mom sat by me to make sure I was ok. My nurse friend was in the bridal party taking pictures so she didnt get my text asking what I should do. I felt so scared because I didn't know if this was something serious or something princess (which is usually the case with me, but I KNOW when I'm being princess). And everyone was busy with wedding stuff so they either didn't know or were too busy to care that I was sick. When they were done nurse friend took my pulse and said as long as I'm drinking fluids and out of the heat, then just pay attention to how I feel. Another friend was wasted so she shoved a gummy bear in my mouth...guess she thought I had low blood sugar?? So I ended up missing the cocktail hour because I was sitting on a couch drinking water. I had two more glasses of water and a salad before I got my energy back. It was really amazing how in such a short span of time I could go from truly thinking I might die to being ready to party. I asked a nurse and a doctor what they would tell a patient, and they both said don't drink alcohol, but to a friend they would say drink alcohol and if you start feeling bad again then stop. So I decided on vodka sodas so half of each drink would be water. The rest of the night was a blast!
When I got home today (after someone randomly gave us their hotel room, which we drunkenly thought was amazing, but when we woke up we realized we were stranded at some hotel. My dad ended up driving 30mins there and back to get us home) I looked up heat exhaustion to find out more about it. It's basically when your body can't cool itself down enough. I had all the symptoms: heavy sweating, feeling weak and/or confused, dizziness, nausea, headache, fast heartbeat. If you don't take care of yourself, then this can lead to heat stroke which is when the internal body reaches 104 degrees. By the time I realized things were going nowhere good, I had these symptoms of heat stroke: dizziness, lack of sweating, muscle weakness, nausea, vomiting, fast heartbeat, feeling confused, anxious, and disoriented. Heat stroke can lead to seizures and death because basically your body is an oven cooking up some delicious organic treats. But seriously, now knowing about how serious this thing was, I can't believe that everyone treated it so lightly. One mom thought I had been drinking and the event staff gave me a water and then went on with their business. What if I just keeled over in your beautiful country club?
I was so embarrassed that I got sick and all the old people lived through the ceremony just fine. I read that antidepressants can make you more susceptible to heat illness...and my acne med blatantly says DON'T GO IN THE SUN so maybe that's why it happened to me and no one else. Maybe no one else realizes the severity and still thinks I'm being a dainty little princess. But honestly, it made me realize how delicate I am and how delicate life is...and how much I want someone who I know without a doubt will come running if he hears I'm not ok, and then stay by my side until I am.
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