The Artist asked me to be his girlfriend. I said I wasn't ready for a commitment. I've always felt a little unsure about my feelings for him. I didn't want to commit to him and lose out on time meeting other guys if I wasn't confident about us working out. So we kept dating and he has been perfect. But the feelings aren't there. I'm so angry because I found a guy who is caring, makes time for me, wants a commitment, wants to talk about feelings, is supportive, and accepts me just the way I am...but my heart just isn't in it. So I decided today that I need to end it with him, but it made me too sad. Sad for him, and sad for me because then I will be alone. I want to be able to hug him, so now I'm thinking I'll wait till I see him this weekend. I can't wait longer than that, though, because he is planning some surprise weekend for me and I don't want him to spend any more money on me now that I've figured out my feelings.
I love love love knowing that someone cares about me. I'm going to miss it so much. I was emailing a guy on Match, and was getting excited about him. Our emails were long and interesting, but then about a week and a half ago I sent him a response and never got one back. It's rare that I'll get excited about someone online, so that's a real bummer. I only have two more months of my membership. I only emailed 4 people last month, and you're required to email 5 in order to get 6 more months for free. I'll call and see if they'll give it to me anyway. Otherwise, I don't know what is next. Buy another 6 months? Try eharmony? Take a break? Look into matchmakers? I'm not giving up yet!!!
