Turkey Trot

I let Turkey know that I would be home for the weekend and asked if he wanted to go for a hike. He was in class at the time and was switching to lab so he had to go. And then I didn't hear from him...I got all sad and went crazy and ended up texting him almost a week later. He texted back and we made plans like it was no big deal.

So the day of I met him at his house with my dog and we made sandwiches to take with us. He drove us up there (nice car!) and we spent a few hours having a picnic and hiking. We talked a lot about our families and who we are. He said he has an anxious/avoidant attachment style, which I'll get to later. His family is a little emotionally distant and he didn't see a very close, loving relationship between his parents. Afterward, we took a long drive to this ice cream and cookie place before heading back to his place. We looked at the pictures he took that day and just hung out for a bit. When it was time for me to go, I actually had to ask him to walk me to my car (it was dark by this time) and he gave me a quick hug goodbye. I sat there in disbelief because we spent an entire day together and we click so well, but absolutely no flirting and definitely no kiss.

This was a week ago and we've been emailing and talking on the phone since then. We set up a photo shoot for my grad pictures that he can use in his portfolio and he has been helping me get a cell phone discount, so while we do chat for a while, it's not like he is contacting me just to say hey. In asking for advice for a friend, I got a few tidbits about what he likes. He said forward girls turn him off, he likes to be friends before starting a relationship, and if a guy likes a girl he will make something happen. Whether it was a message for me or not, I got a strong message to back off! I've talked to some friends that say don't waste any more time, but in all honesty I need closure before I can do that. I was planning on telling him how I feel but I chickened out, and with this new information I just can't do it anytime soon.

As far as attachment goes, a person who does not develop a close bond with his/her caregiver and develops an anxious/avoidant attachment style goes on to avoid intimacy and feel insecure while in a relationship. This might answer the question about why he is still single, and actually gives me a little hope. Getting into a relationship with an avoidant guy is not the best idea, but we attract people who are on the same level as us, and I also have an avoidant and definitely very anxious style.

So he wants to be "friends first," but the question is does that mean friends forever? From what he has said, it sounds like if he wants more he will let me know. But there will come a point where I will need closure and separation to grieve about losing what I had hoped for. So the revised plan is for me to accept this friendship, and when it gets closer to May when I'm moving back home I'll initiate a little chat.