I'm always cognizant of the fact that I'm single. It's always a lingering thought in the back of my mind that I can't fully get rid of. Even if I'm doing some great single girl activity I'm thinking about how I couldn't be doing that thing if I had a boyfriend/husband/family...and how I'd give up every great single girl activity in a heartbeat for the love and support of a significant other. There are some things, though, that will stop you in your tracks and remind you that you are, in fact, ALONE.
The first time I really, truly realized this was in Ikea. I had just moved out of my parents' house and was buying furniture. I was struggling to get the boxes off the shelves when a lady tried to help me. I laughed it off and said I'm fine, thanks. I was a strong, single girl; I could do it on my own. She called me a bitch and walked away. I looked down so no one would see and wiped away a tear. I'm not strong. And I can't do it alone.
Today I'm having another one of those moments. I'm going to Sacramento to lobby Congress...awesome girl power, right?! I couldn't leave for a whole weekend if I had a family!!! Only I forgot I have a dog...I've been holed up doing projects and studying all semester so I feel too guilty to ask my friends. I don't want to be one of those people who only calls when they need something. That applies to asking for a ride to the airport, too. So now I'm going to end up paying for a cab and going into more debt for doggy day care. Maybe I have a problem asking for help. But if the solution to my single girl problems is making money so I can pay people to help me, social work may have been the wrong profession.
I'm reminded of this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o63Tap4YGo0
As a newly single woman, I'm having to learn a whole bunch of stuff that I didn't really want to learn. One of them is definitely asking for help. Your really good friends will be understanding about how you've had too much to do to hang out with them, and you can even be candid about it. "Hey, I know I've been so busy, but I promise that once this project/semester/etc is over, we'll have drinks/lunch/dinner." They'll understand; I promise. Don't take on the weight of the world. There are lots of other people willing to share the burden with you. Sending you lots of hugs.
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