All I'm trying to do is go to sleep.

I've never felt so alone. All I want is to know what happened, and he won't even give me that. I'm so angry and sad and frustrated and tense right now. And everyone's asleep. It's me and my dog. I asked him if I could call him this morning by text. He said of course so I called him after work. He sent me a voicemail. My phone didn't ring so I think he just went straight to my voicemail on purpose. I called him back a couple times, no answer. And fuck everything that everyone has told me over the past week. He got his space, and now what I really need is closure. So no more 'wait until such and such a date' because why do I have to do it all his way??? I'm looking for a relationship where I CAN BE MYSELF. I shouldn't have to tip toe around and pretend I'm not neurotic because I AM. And anyone who really wants to know me learns that and loves it. I thought he could love it. I really thought he would get me because he is so different, too. You are reading the moment where I give up on this. Everyone tried to console me by telling me not to rush into thinking "space" meant breaking up. WELL THAT'S WHAT IT FUCKING MEANT. And I had to go through a week hoping and wishing and praying, and now here I am sitting here all alone late at night and I just want someone to talk to. But there's only one person in the world who I really want to talk to, and it looks like I'm not getting either tonight.